Friday March 28th

Today was the Navy Gator Ball. Since  I did not  want to go to such a formal event sporting a skunk stripe I booked an appointment with my stylist. She fixed my hair and then used the Bumble and Bumble temporary color spray to spray my head. The stuff covers very well and I was happy with the results. Fast forward nine hours later after arriving home from the ball. The color felt heavy and thick and I wanted it off of my head.  I am one to wash my face before I get in the shower, not sure why, it is just something I've always done. Imagine my surprise when I lifted my bangs to put my headband on and my entire forehead was  deep  black! Luckily this could not be seen under my  bangs. I attempt to wash my face and my hands become a black, gooey, sudsy mess. Okay plan B. I move to the shower to finish. Once in the shower I wash my face then proceed to scrub my scalp. Now I have deep black streaks rolling down my torso. It takes several  application of shampoo to get the "temporary color" out of my hair. As I scrubbed I realized how close to disaster I had actually come.  You see the forecast called for rain, which thankfully held off for the duration of our outing, but can you imagine how devastating it would have been to have arrived at the ball with black streaks  seeping down my face...

I'm glad things ended well. The rain held off and I have this awesome picture with my wonderful hubby, which will probably be the last official picture of me with dark hair.

Smile and enjoy life's journey, I know I sure am! 

After careful deliberation I have decided it is time for me to hop off the color bandwagon and get back to my roots.  My "ah ha moment" started gradually, and has now worked its way to a full-blown  "I have to do this! " The pivotal point for me was seeing a picture of myself with my gray roots showing. It was week three of my every four week coloring process. The hubby and I attended a holiday party. During the only dance the hubby and I partook of, some overzealous cameraman decided that the best angle for a photograph would be taken from atop a chair.  Not only did the camera get a facial expression which looked like I was mincing words with my beloved hubby (certainly not)  it captured my infamous third week skunk stripe.  To make matters worse, the photo now appears on a website with all the other photos from the night.

 It was in looking at that picture that I got upset. Not only due to the humiliating photo, but to the fact that I felt frustrated. I spend a great deal of time and money  each month to look my best, and yet, I still have that dreaded  skunk stripe period in-between  my color appointments.  After seeing that photo, I decided that I had two choices, to color more frequently, or to stop coloring all together. At least by not coloring it, my hair, in theory,  should then be all one color. That is unless of course I find that I am not fully gray, but instead a blend of salt and pepper. Even still,  it would be the same blend throughout. Then,  whether I have my hair pulled back for  a morning at the gym, or am at the three week mark, my hair will, at least in my mind, look more presentable.

Once I decided to make the change I began doing research. In scouring the web I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of information out there. Information, that made me more and more convinced that I am doing the right thing. I always have a tremendous amount of hair loss, which I've always attributed to  the fact that I have hypothyroidism.  Turns out  I may have been mistaken. I always blamed my dry, itchy, scalp on the coloring process, but  it actually never occurred to me that the extreme hair loss could also be a result of the chemical process that goes with coloring ones hair each month. Luckily my hair is healthy and replenishes itself constantly to keep me from going bald, but the hair I have to remove from the floor on a daily basis still causes me to wonder.  I am looking forward to see if the hair loss situation remedies itself once I make the transition and am no longer putting chemicals on my head.

Another thing that reinforced my decision was a comment I read. One that hit way too close to home. The writer pondered the question "I eat right and exercise, so why do I continue to put these chemicals on my head each month?"  That statement was like a punch in the gut for me. And frankly it leaves me wondering why I did not consider this fact before now. Did my need for coverage override my brain?  Seriously, what are these chemicals doing to my scalp? If the color can come off on a towel then isn't it logical they are also leaching into my body? What is that doing to my overall health? When weighing the pros and cons, it is clear that everything is pointing in the same direction, going natural. The big question is how to get through the process.

Transitioning, while liberating, can also be incredibly scary.  I think I've nearly driven my dear hubby crazy worrying over the process to come. He is supportive. But he is also a man. A man, without any hair. How liberating. But I also remember his transition to that phase. A transition, that included a great deal of hat wearing, until that fateful day, when he finally got the nerve to take a razor to his scalp. If woman could only be so fortunate, to take that leap and not be ostracized, assumed ill or have references made to her sexual preference.  

So, not ready to shave my head, I am now researching my options. Let it grow, and deal with the skunk stripe. Continue to highlight with a color close to my roots to help the process appear more subtle.  Chop it all off, then continue to cut until I finally get to my full, natural, color. Wear a wig. A Scarf. Or even a headband. The bottom line is I have options. Options which, no matter what I choose, will help me get to the place I intend to go. While currently the natural look is the road less traveled, it is the road I prefer to take. A journey, such as it is, to be free. Free from deception. Free from unwanted chemicals.   Will I be silver, gray, white, or salt & Pepper? At this point only time will tell.

While some may not agree with my decision, the bottom line it is "my" decision.  I'm taking the stand. I'm doing this for me.  I'm giving myself permission to love the woman I see in the mirror, no matter the color of the hair...  

Anyone that spends any time standing and talking with me will notice one  very disturbing thing. I am crooked in a very literal way. I lean to the side.

Not just a little, I am like the human equivalent of the Leaning Tower of
Pisa.  No one knows why I lean. I am not even sure when it began as I have
been this  way for as long as I can remember. Chiropractors all want to fix  me, but they
soon discover that they cannot. 

  With the leaning come other issues as it seems that when you lean it  affects your neck, shoulder, hips, legs and so on. Lately I have rediscovered my stride, having lost it over the last six months or so, and have began  walking  once more. I walk an average of 4 miles a day, which, while good,  is still down from last year's five. In resuming walking, my body has begun overcompensating for the fact that I'm crooked and I was having some issues with numbness in my lower legs.  Knowing I was long  overdue for a chiropractic tune up I started making phone calls, hoping to find  one locally. I used to go to one in Virginia Beach, but he has changed his adjusting methods, opting to use a hand held device for adjustments instead of  the old school leaning on your body and making you go snap, crackle and pop. I  am sure some prefer the new method; I however am not one of those people.  That was the reason I found myself in Dr. Stewarts office this week. 

I liked him immediately, as he reminded me of a non pompous, un-tanned,
version of Dr. Ordon, from the TV show The Doctor's. Dr. Stewart came across as
honest and sincere and told me straight from the start that he could not fix me.
He feels he can help me manage the situation and help me feel better but he
knew, and admitted from the start, that he will not be able to "fix" me. Knowing
that to be true it was very refreshing not to hear the same old BS of how we can
correct this. He not only adjusted me, he showed me some exercises and told me
which ones to stay away from, he also talked about other things that might help
such as adjusting the way I carry my purse. 

I carry a very large handbag. It is a genuine Hobo bag made of soft leather
and looks more like a overnight bag than a purse but, I love my bag. I read
about a purse such as this in the Stephanie Plum series by one of my  favorite authors, Janet Evanovich. In the books Stephanie keeps everything she needs in that bag and, well, after hearing how much help that bag can be I just had to find one. I have had it two years and I must say Stephanie is right, you can carry nearly half the house in that bag! Therein lies one of the problems, the purse is terribly heavy. Now thankfully Dr. Stewart did not try to dissuade me from carrying such a hefty purse. Instead he commended me for carrying it cross-body saying that actually helps. What he did suggest was for me to drape it on the opposite side from which I normally carry it. So I was like sure, I can do that. I slipped the purse over my head, flipped in and brought it right back down. I looked down and was like hmmm, that didn't work did it? I tried it three more
times, much to the amusement of the good Dr. Each time I would merely flip
the purse and bring it back to the original position. Apparently my brain does not function outside of what it considers to be normal as I had a devil of a time getting that purse onto the other side of my body. This morning, when I went out, my purse was in its usual resting place. It is plain to see that I will always be a work in progress. I
guess some things are just not meant to be fixed...

Last year I crossed a huge milestone. I turned the big 50. I often have people tell me I do not look it, which is nice to hear, but I
assure you there are days when I feel my age. The past six months or so I’ve been besieged with numerous aches and pains. My doctor tells me I have bursitis in my hip, osteoarthritis in my thumb and tendinitis in my rotator cuff. Or as I like to say, I’m falling apart. In April my doctor convinced me that a steroid shot was the best remedy for my shoulder. I questioned whether or not I would gain weight as I had been able to maintain my current weight for nearly a year. While it is not my optimum weight I am at least able to look half way decent in my clothes. She assured me that no, I would not gain weight as it was a localized shot, so I gave the go ahead. 

I won’t say my doctor lied, I will just say that my body tends to react differently to medication than most people. So over the course of the next month I proceeded to not only gain ten pounds but my hormones have been so out of whack that I even Oliver, my dog is walking on eggshells. So in an effort to help with the unwanted weight, help the mood and hopefully keep my limbs flexible, we decided to check into the YMCA. 

About a week ago my hubby and I were out running errands and had touring the Y on our list. Well it so happens that on the way to the Y we just happened to pass Dairy Queen. For some reason the two of us have a hard time, just passing the place, so we got ourselves an ice cream and continued on our way. Unfortunately the Y is only a couple blocks from DQ so there we were sitting in our car eating. Two people passed by our car and we burst out laughing, realizing we each had hid our ice cream as they walked past. I guess we felt a bit self conscious eating our unhealthy fair in the gym parking lot. 
  
After we toured the facility we were given a free pass to  see if we like it. I knew we would like it I just was not sure if my body could handle it, as I, a person who normally walks three to five miles a day, along daily yoga have been having difficulty walking a single mile. I literally sat in the car and cried last week while telling my husband that I was in no shape to exercise. 

I started the free trial on Tuesday. I decided to partake in the water Jogging class as it sounded as if it would only utilize the legs.  While for the most part the class did concentrate on the legs there were also a lot of arm movements. If any move was too painful I modified it until it no longer hurt. I made it through the workout and was sore afterwards but not so much as to dissuade me from going again the next day. 

One Wednesday I opted for the therapy pool. They call it  that because the water is heated above the norm which apparently helps with  movement. I got in and did my thing, which means that I dog peddled back and  forth the length of the pool. It is less strenuous than actual swimming yet still gets the body moving. Going forward was painless for the most part but reversing the movement was a bit of a challenge as that movement hurt. I did this for thirty minutes until the pool started to fill for the 9am class. That class is a stretching class so I decided to join in. I was able to do most
  everything but some of the noodle movements were still too painful. That
  evening I was less sore than the day before, which I took as a good sign. 
 
Thursday morning when I got to the Y there were no parking spots in the front lot. I circled the parking lot once before heading to the back lot. After parking I started the trek to the building. On the way there I was nearly plowed down by a guy zipping through the lot. The guy circled twice, before giving up and heading to the back lot. Then As I neared the building I saw it, a coveted parking spot, right up front near the building! My first thought was, I wonder if I could get my car and park before the space gets
taken. My next thought was duh, you are going to the gym to work out, a little walk in advance is not going to kill you! 

Only after I entered the building did I realize that not only did I open the door with my right hand but that I did so without flinching! That was a big milestone.

  I made my way to the therapy pool, did my pre-workout routine then proceeded to join in on yet another stretch class. This one used light weights which I was able to use
  without issue. I think I only had trouble with two of the moves. My arm felt
  better on Thursday than it has in months, so much in fact that without thinking
  I attempted to move a box of books and was immediately sorry I had. I found
  myself back to where I was at the beginning of the week and the arm even woke
  me several times during the night.


Friday morning I debated on going to the pool as I was still sore from the box fiasco and we were under a tropical storm warning. I woke up and it was raining and I debated hard about going. I then laughed. Here I was worried about a little rain when my ultimate plan was to get into the pool. What, was I afraid I would get wet?  I went in early and just did my back and forth routine for about forty minutes, then sat in the sauna for a bit before showering and heading home, after a brief stop at 7-eleven to get my morning foo foo drink. 

So I survived my free trial and it is safe to say this will be a good fit for me. Last night Hubby and I drove to the Y and officially joined. As we pulled out of the parking lot the hubby made a right and drove straight to Dairy Queen where we celebrated joining the gym with a chocolate ice cream…