I have been trying to behave, really I have. I’ve been holding my tongue and pointing to the
sign on my door that reads No Soliciting, as people continue to ignore the sign
and step brazenly on my porch, their nimble fingers pressing the doorbell,
waiting for me to come. It would not be so bad if my sign were somehow hidden
from view. I would assume that perhaps it was an oversight, and maybe I should
relocate the sign so my “visitors” could see it better, but I assure you that is
not the case. You see, much to my chagrin, my husband, being the diligent man
that he is adhered the sign right above the door handle of our full length glass
storm door. At first I thought it an eye sore but he assured me that was the
best place to place it as it is in everyone’s direct line of vision. Everyone
but the people who are supposed to heed its warning it seems because this week
alone I have had not one but four unsolicited and unwelcomed dings from my
doorbell.
Okay the first one was a lady from the city confirming
information for assessment purposes. While unwelcomed, she could make our lives
miserable or at least costly so I answered her questions.
The second was a neighbor girl and I did give her
permission to return when I bought grapefruit in the fall, so she gets a pass as
well.
Then there was the lady handing out religious pamphlets
who I watched walk right up to the door, peer at my no-soliciting sign over her
horn rimmed glasses-do people really still wear those- and rang the door bell.
I was sitting on the couch with my laptop at the time and I took my time
getting up thinking she would take the hint. I guess she has learned to be
patient on her mission because she just stood there waiting for me. When I
approached the door I pointed to the sign, which she had already read, and said
“it says no-soliciting.” To which she informed me she is not soliciting she is
just handing out these pamphlets. I don’t mean to state the obvious lady, but
handing out pamphlets for your church is still soliciting…
My final, I have had enough, point came earlier this
week. I was sitting in my office, working on my latest manuscript, when out of
the corner of my eye I saw a young man walking down the street. From my vantage
point in my office I could see him but he could not see me.
Oliver, my standard poodle, likes to sit with me in my
office. At times he will just sit and stare out the window. This happened to be
one of those times. We watched to see what the man was up to and sure enough he
turned to come up the driveway with papers in his hand. Seriously, you can see
my sign from the road! It is that big and that noticeable. Having had enough, I
turned to Oliver and highly encouraged him to “go see.”
Being thus encouraged, Oliver turned and took off down
the hall in a hurry. I did not see what happened next but I could visualize the
whole scene. Oliver is 70 pounds and jet black. I could hear him racing down
the hallway, nails clicking, in a dead run. By the time he attempted to round
the corner to the front hallway he was moving so fast that I heard him sliding
around the corner, his legs shuffling out from under him, struggling to regain
control.
By this point the guy was already on the porch and
heading to the glass storm door. He probably even had his finger extended,
hovering over the sign, reaching for the doorbell. Oliver made it to the door at
that very second and was so worked up he was barking and growling. I am sure
even though there was a glass door between them seeing a 70 pound dog racing
toward you, doing his best impersonation of Cujo, is bound to cause your heart
to skip a beat. I heard Oliver’s
nails hit the front door mere seconds before I saw the guy zoom past my office
window in a panic. I think it is safe to say that is one solicitor who won’t be
knocking on my door anytime soon…
sign on my door that reads No Soliciting, as people continue to ignore the sign
and step brazenly on my porch, their nimble fingers pressing the doorbell,
waiting for me to come. It would not be so bad if my sign were somehow hidden
from view. I would assume that perhaps it was an oversight, and maybe I should
relocate the sign so my “visitors” could see it better, but I assure you that is
not the case. You see, much to my chagrin, my husband, being the diligent man
that he is adhered the sign right above the door handle of our full length glass
storm door. At first I thought it an eye sore but he assured me that was the
best place to place it as it is in everyone’s direct line of vision. Everyone
but the people who are supposed to heed its warning it seems because this week
alone I have had not one but four unsolicited and unwelcomed dings from my
doorbell.
Okay the first one was a lady from the city confirming
information for assessment purposes. While unwelcomed, she could make our lives
miserable or at least costly so I answered her questions.
The second was a neighbor girl and I did give her
permission to return when I bought grapefruit in the fall, so she gets a pass as
well.
Then there was the lady handing out religious pamphlets
who I watched walk right up to the door, peer at my no-soliciting sign over her
horn rimmed glasses-do people really still wear those- and rang the door bell.
I was sitting on the couch with my laptop at the time and I took my time
getting up thinking she would take the hint. I guess she has learned to be
patient on her mission because she just stood there waiting for me. When I
approached the door I pointed to the sign, which she had already read, and said
“it says no-soliciting.” To which she informed me she is not soliciting she is
just handing out these pamphlets. I don’t mean to state the obvious lady, but
handing out pamphlets for your church is still soliciting…
My final, I have had enough, point came earlier this
week. I was sitting in my office, working on my latest manuscript, when out of
the corner of my eye I saw a young man walking down the street. From my vantage
point in my office I could see him but he could not see me.
Oliver, my standard poodle, likes to sit with me in my
office. At times he will just sit and stare out the window. This happened to be
one of those times. We watched to see what the man was up to and sure enough he
turned to come up the driveway with papers in his hand. Seriously, you can see
my sign from the road! It is that big and that noticeable. Having had enough, I
turned to Oliver and highly encouraged him to “go see.”
Being thus encouraged, Oliver turned and took off down
the hall in a hurry. I did not see what happened next but I could visualize the
whole scene. Oliver is 70 pounds and jet black. I could hear him racing down
the hallway, nails clicking, in a dead run. By the time he attempted to round
the corner to the front hallway he was moving so fast that I heard him sliding
around the corner, his legs shuffling out from under him, struggling to regain
control.
By this point the guy was already on the porch and
heading to the glass storm door. He probably even had his finger extended,
hovering over the sign, reaching for the doorbell. Oliver made it to the door at
that very second and was so worked up he was barking and growling. I am sure
even though there was a glass door between them seeing a 70 pound dog racing
toward you, doing his best impersonation of Cujo, is bound to cause your heart
to skip a beat. I heard Oliver’s
nails hit the front door mere seconds before I saw the guy zoom past my office
window in a panic. I think it is safe to say that is one solicitor who won’t be
knocking on my door anytime soon…
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