This past weekend I found myself possessed. I am not talking ghost and the like but evil spirits just the same. I am sure if it would have lasted longer than it did my husband would have had no other choice than to call in an exorcist. What possessed me was way worse than something out of a horror movie, I was possessed by hormones and it was not a pretty sight.
Don had to fly out of town unexpectedly on Friday. His mother had fallen and had to have emergency surgery so he flew back to Kentucky for a few days to lend emotional support, if only for a short period of time.
I was good the day Don left. I was still in the midst of unpacking so I had plenty to keep me busy. I was invited to a neighborhood get together, also referred to as the neighborhood “happy hour” On Friday evening. I took a bottle of inexpensive wine and had a wonderful time getting to know our new neighbors. I feel I should pause for a moment and explain that the reason I took cheap wine is because after tasting many brands over the years I find Reunite Lambrusco the only one I can drink and enjoy. I had three glasses, which is two more than I normally partake of. In my defense, the glass I was using was about half the size of the one I normally use, so, if you think about it, I guess I only really had one more than I usually have. I was however surprised that I was able to find my way back home. Still, lucky for me, the gathering was right next door and I had walked.
The next morning I woke, sans headache thankfully, to find my mood had declined drastically. I missed Don dearly, felt clingy, also known as really needing a hug. I was sad and just overall not myself. Saturday was a most awful day where I felt I needed to cry but never really crossed that line. It was a nice mild afternoon so I decided to take Oliver for a long walk around the neighborhood. This was our first walk in our new neighborhood and I ended up getting lost and this mind you was without the help of wine. It took a bit of back tracking but we finally made our way back home.
After spending a sleepless evening Sunday turned out to be the day for release. I pretty much sobbed my way through the whole day. By late afternoon I forced myself to take Oliver for another walk. Upon passing the house next door the door opened and my neighbor asked if I needed a map to find my way back home. It was the first time I had laughed all day. I assured him I had my cell phone and would call if I needed directions. Oliver and I stuck to the main roads and I was careful to take notice of the street signs. After the walk, I felt almost human once more. I guess sometimes a woman just needs a good cry and a bit of fresh air.
Sunday evening I fell into bed exhausted by ten thirty and by one in the morning I was once again wide awake and staring at the ceiling. I was in a pattern like this a few months ago, and then progressed to a couple of months where I slept so soundly I was even falling asleep before Don, which is almost unheard of. I guess I have once again entered into my sleepless cycle.
My daughter has been my rock this week, picking up on the fact that I sounded down and made a concerted effort to stay in touch, via phone and texting me songs to cheer me up. She has matured into such a wonderful and nurturing young lady and I am very proud of the person she has become. She is in the late stages of her third pregnancy and can truly relate to my plight. Her hormones have been all over the place these past nine months.
Don arrived home on Tuesday and by the time he arrived my sanity had returned as well. I think he planned it that way. Not that I blame him mind you, when my inner psycho takes over I often wish I could take a hiatus as well. Some kind of an out of body experience to let the mood fluctuations run their course and return when things are back to normal again.
Why do we need hormones anyway? Ok, so I know why we need them but why do they have to hang around? Wouldn’t it be great if after our childbearing years we could simply opt out? Kind of like purchasing a new car and choosing the options we want. PMS, nope, mood swings, gone, bloating, out of here, eating everything in the cabinet then starting in on the fridge even though we are so full we can’t breathe, a thing of the past! Now let’s see sex drive, I’ll keep that, breast fullness, I’ll take that but wait, let me choose the option that doesn’t come with the accompanying tenderness.
Men just don’t get it. Haven’t they learned by now that the worse thing they can ask when we are having a bad day is “are you PMS?” Seriously, we know we are PMS and they know we are PMS, enough said or should I say, better left unsaid. Nothing can further aggravate a woman’s mood than to be told she is PMS. Just back off and give us space but not too much space or then we will accuse you of not being there when we need you. Sorry guys, when it comes to hormones you can’t win so don’t even try. Just tread carefully and agree with everything we say even though later we may deny saying it.
I do not know if my emotional rollercoaster is stress from our recent move, anxiety from my husband’s impending deployment, PMS or a sign I am getting older but as I continue to have my ups and downs I am reminded of a quote from the first Indiana Jones movie. “Hang on Lady; we’re going for a ride”!